WHY AM I SO UPSET?

QUESTION:

My niece has been unconscious for some time, and doctors say she may not wake up again. Some family members insist that she's "gone" and “needs” life-ending intervention. Why am I so upset?

ANSWER:

REMEMBER, AS I’m sure you must, that your niece’s spirit—her unique human soul—is not impaired in any way. That the human soul possesses enduring vitality is certain. While her mortal body is struggling with illness, her immortal spirit is more vibrant, active and receptive than ever. She remains, even in great physical distress, a “temple of the Holy Spirit” and glorifies God in her mortal body [cf. 1Cor 6:19-20] as Christ himself did on the cross. See in her face the face of our Lord Jesus Christ.

YOUR NIECE is gravely ill, but she is not gone. She is all there. She possesses as much dignity now in her life as before. At the same time, she is being helped all the more:

LIKEWISE THE Spirit helps us in our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with sighs too deep for words. And he who searches the hearts of men knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. [Rom 8:26-27] 

FAMILY MEMBER'S HUMANENESS

I VENTURE to say, the poignancy of her vulnerability affirms the fundamental truth that human personhood is not something to be won or lost, bought or sold, hoarded or stolen. Rather, human personhood is a divine gift of incomparable—not negotiable—value. No person struggling with illness deserves to carry the burden of healthy yet dispirited family members.

THE FULLNESS of your niece’s human personhood is not open to question—this is an objective reality which no one can change. What is open to question however, is whether or not healthy members of her family intend to honor and respect the fullness of her personhood in their hearts and minds even when certain aspects of her illness are so visually distressing. Indeed, under the circumstances, it is vitally necessary that all family members acknowledge the reality of your niece’s personhood for the sake of their own humaneness.

GRACE OF NATURAL OUTCOME

WHEN I think of the weak, the ill, and the innocent in human society, I am constantly reminded that human beings are not the source of their own dignity and personhood. God alone is the creator of all that is good. This is why human beings have no authority whatsoever to deny dignity and personhood in each other. Your niece deserves the grace of a natural outcome to her illness. Give to her spirit the privilege of its own moment and its own voice to say, It is finished!  [cf. Jn 19:30] 

YOUR NIECE'S illness is causing your family to reflect on its own humanity. Even in sorrow, I am certain that you are sufficient to the task of prayer. Again, I am so sorry that this personal distress has fallen upon your family. Pray, pray, and pray I will.