HOLDING HANDS AT MASS

QUESTION:  "Many people want to hold hands at Mass during the "Our Father" prayer. When I decline to do so, people stare at me. I hold my hands upward. Am I wrong?"

ANSWER:

HAND-HOLDING IS one of several fairly recent innovations adopted by a considerable number of parishes. Advocates of holding hands are quick to justify it as a "custom". How these things get started is difficult to tell, but I do know that innovations are inevitably entrenched with the consent of parish priests. This sort of expansive gesture has something in common with a another contemporary novelty--the way the Kiss of Peace is exchanged in most Catholic Churches. Although the Kiss of Peace is a ritual kiss--a liturgical exchange of Christ's peace between worshippers--in practice most people attempt to greet and hug every one they can reach. Not a few launch out on "road trips" at every ritual invocation of peace.

A FURTHER expansive gesture that has intruded upon communal worship is the practice of family members eulogizing the deceased or even entertaining mourners with jokes, "show and tell" displays, poetry recitals, "Power Point" presentations, impromptu serenades and the like. The practice of glowing, emotive testimonials, though popular, is often abusive of the funeral Mass and oppressive to some family members and many in the congregation, for example, I know Carl is in heaven and looking down at us right now! I have witnessed any number of bizarre instances in which a eulogist talked to the corpse in its casket--Doris, you always said I would go first!

NO TO NOVELTY

MANY OF these expansive gestures originated in protestant faith communities and are staple features of Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. Capitalizing on sentimentality, their frequency is growing. Bishops and clergy are beginning to ban eulogies in Catholic dioceses because of their extravagance and frequent disregard for the sacredness of the Mass and the teachings of the Church.  

HAND-HOLDING, PROFUSE handshaking and hugging, and eulogies are not approved gestures/actions in the Catholic liturgy. That liturgical law is silent on the existence or regulation of these kinds of gestures cannot be construed as permission to experiment, still less to adopt them. Neither priest or congregant are feel free to invent and promote such novel gestures. 

OPPORTUNISM 

IN OTHER words, one cannot introduce deviations to the liturgy. The absence of positive prohibitions in the universal liturgical law never justifies deviations of any kind. It is defective reasoning to say nobody told me I couldn't do it, therefore I can or it's not written down, so I'm free to do what I want. This is self-centeredness, a trait unfortunately imitated by many opportunistic "professional" liturgists and presiding priests.   

GREATER ISSUES 

I DO not publicly objected to the hand-holding that occurs during the Our Father at parish Masses. But I do offer a clear explanation of the issues and the preferred behavior in writing. I have learned that every Church has its peculiar or odd touch. And this practice, though unnecessary and homey--and frequently distracting--usually not appear to aggravate harm to the liturgy. As a body, the worshippers show great affection for this gesture. As well there are sensitive liturgical issues of greater importance in the parish still awaiting a solution.  

INEVITABLY, WHEN a priest is assigned to a new parish, he faces significant liturgical problems which degrade the liturgies. There are still major issues, though fewer in number now. After considerable debate on the subject of hand-holding, the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops decided not to approve it or forbid it. In other words, they decided not to specify a posture during the praying of the Our Father. Whether or not this shows wisdom remains to be seen.

REGARDING THE "SIGN OF PEACE"

THE “SIGN of Peace” in the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass is a formal exchange of peace that forms an important part of the Church’s solemn worship. The sign of peace is not a social greeting but rather a solemn ritual exchange that Christians offer to each other in the name of our Sovereign Lord Jesus Christ. Keep in mind that the "Sign of Peace" is a holy kiss. It is a sign and not a literal obligation to speak to everyone within reach or sight. During the sign of peace, the appropriate greeting is “Peace be with you” which calls forth the response “And also with you.”

CASUAL CONVERSATION and levity are never appropriate in this ritual  gesture of our worship. The sacrifice we are offering to God the Almighty Father obliges us to cling to all solemnity and seriousness in this ritual sign. We have just prayed the most powerful prayer on earth, and we are about to receive the Bread of the Angels. With this thought, all parishioners should remain in place during the “Kiss of Peace” and not move about from pew to pew or to cross aisles. Keeping one's mind and heart focused entirely on the sacrifice of Our Lord’s Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity is paramount.

DEEPER MEANING OF GESTURES

NEITHER THE "Our Father" prayer or the "Sign of Peace" were given to the liturgy of the Mass as an aid for socialization. The practice of holding hands during the “Our Father” and guffawing familiarity at the "Sign of Peace" are popular innovations that the Church has never approved at any level of her authority. It would seem wise, then, for everyone to be sensitive and totally respectful of parishioners who decline to hold hands during the “Our Father”. After all, not holding hands is the tradition of the Church.

TRYING TO hold the hands of persons who are not standing next to you in your pew is always to be discouraged. Stretching far out to hold someone else’s outstretched hand (even across the aisles!) clearly detracts from the prayerfulness of the “Our Father”. Such a practice results in members of the Body of Christ physically turning away from the Altar of Sacrifice and the Body, Blood, Soul and Divinity of the Lord Jesus Christ. No one should ever be pulled away--whether by thought, word or deed--from the face of our Eucharistic Lord in preference to mortal human beings.

WE SHOULD reflect on the deeper meaning of our gestures of worship, not permitting hand-holding to disturb the Lord’s Prayer, nor glad-handing to substitute for the genuine Christian “Sign of Peace.” 

DISCRETE AND FORMAL 

A CAUTION is in order. The open-hand prayer posture which some parishioners prefer should not mimic the way a priest holds his arms outward in the orans position when presiding over the Eucharist. The lay faithful should never imitate the priest's gestures. Holding the palms of your hands upward during the Our Father is fine; with a view toward others in the pew, this gesture be modest and close to the body. 

A FINAL thought. No one has the privilege of staring and being offensive. All congregants should respect one's preference for not holding hands. Not holding hands remains the liturgical norm of the Church even if ten thousand words have yet to be published on the subject. And as well, if I attend Mass on a Sunday while traveling--not as a concelebrating priest, but joining the lay faithful worshipping in the nave of the Church--I never hold hands during the Our Father. At the breast, I place the palms of my hands together with fingers pointing upward and thumbs crossed.